My journals are full of stuff like this:
What do I have to do to be organized? Disciplined about my spiritual practice? Writing? Health? I have so many aspirations. Why do I have to fight myself every step of the way to get things done? I am so unbelievably off track. Let’s see, if I get up at 5AM and meditate for an hour, then go to a 630 yoga class, I can be back at my desk by 9, write until noon, take a break, and then do other desk stuff until 6 or so. That makes sense! I can do that!
I overslept. Tried to regroup. Decided not to meditate and get to a yoga class instead. I feel like crap about that. The cats are shredding the couch. Must get that double-sided tape they hate and tape entire sectional. Carol is coming to visit for the weekend. Got to think of some stuff to do. Flying to CA day after tomorrow. Dry cleaning!! I’ll try to get back to schedule tomorrow. No, next week. After I’m back from CA.
And on and on. Add nauseum. LOTS of nauseum. In a last ditch effort, I’m going to conduct an experiment. The Discipline Experiment. Not forever, just for a month. 5/25/09-6/29/09. Just one month. I’ll give it all I’ve got. I’ll look at every day and schedule in all the stuff I want to do: meditate, write, take care of my body, take care of those I love, honor all my commitments, especially those I’ve made to myself which somehow seem to be the ones to go first. (WHY?!) If at the end of the month, I’m a frazzled heap of skin and bones, I’ll stop. My fantasy is that I’ll feel great, fabulous, on top of the world. On top of my own life. We’ll see…
The great organizational mastermind, David Allen, the GTD Guy, says that stress comes from breaking your commitments to yourself. Dude. I’m going to keep those commitments. I have a plan… Stay tuned…