#Inbound13 and the Culture of Caring

August 23, 2013   |   25 Comments

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I have really got to get out of the house more often.

I was honored to have had the chance to offer a “Bold Talk” this week at the 2013 Hubspot Inbound Conference. Hubspot is a company that provides marketing software to small businesses and this year there were over 5500 attendees at the event, about twice as many as last year. Seth Godin, Arianna Huffington, and Nate Silver delivered keynotes. There were over 150 speakers making presentations during this three-day event that had the excitement and joie de vivre of SXSW in 1993 (when I lived in Austin).

My topic was “Mindful Communication.” I have given many talks in my life, but this one had me extremely nervous.

Usually, to prepare, I think about the topic, read about it, sleep on it, and then show up in the space about an hour early and the talk “appears.” I have no idea how this process happens but I’ve tried many times to plan what I want to say in advance and it has never worked out. I end up abandoning whatever I’d planned. (Believe me, I wish I could do it another way because this “way” is extremely nerve wracking.)

But I had to figure out something different for the Hubspot talk. I had 18 minutes. There would be 600+ people. It would be in the context of a marketing event. All of these were new variables and I didn’t know what to expect. Plus, I really respect and adore the person who invited me, so I wanted to do a good job.

When they emailed to ask for my slides, I was taken aback. Slides? What slides?! I have no slides!! Everyone else will have slides. I am slide-less. Their slides are going to punch my no-slides in the face. When I open my slide-less pie-hole to talk, no one is going to understand what I have to say. Mindful, shmindful. Opening, relationships, authenticity, courage, creative flow, feeling, compassion, blah, blah: the things that I usually talk about would fall on deaf ears. How to contextualize for the aggressive world of business? How to convince people who are on a mission that slowing down is the fastest way to get there?

I wrote eight different talks that sucked in eight different ways. I could not find the voice.

Then I went to the talk that opened the conference: Seth Godin’s keynote. 5500+ people sat there quietly, smartphones, tablets, laptops at the ready to take notes. I was half excited (because I love Seth) and half terrified (because I felt intimidated by everything).

Then he started talking about generosity as the path to success. Caring as a business strategy. Being human, making everything personal, taking risks and being fearless. Making art.

Generosity, creativity, compassion, authenticity, fearlessness: these are all expressions of mindfulness and are at the root of powerful communication. To me, Seth was giving a dharma talk. I began to relax.

The next day was my talk. That morning, Arianna Huffington gave her dharma talk keynote address. She talked about the importance of quiet and inwardness as the source of innovation, creativity, and leadership.

As I sat listening to her, this phrase popped to mind: “culture of caring.” These people are creating a culture of caring, I thought to myself, whereupon my own talk downloaded itself.

I realized that I was at home. I could use my own voice.

I was blown away by this event. There was so much heart, so much inspiration, and so much intelligence. But this is what gave me the greatest thrill of all: this could change the world.

I know that sounds impossibly, well, bold. But our world is not governed by politics or media as much as it is governed by consumerism. If caring, kindness, generosity, and creativity begin to mix in with the culture of consumerism, that could be…big.

The way things used to be marketed was one to many. The primary relationships were with the middlemen–wholesalers, retailers, and media. They were the customers and we built our products for them. The way to be powerful was to offer or withhold money or access. Whoever was most financially coercive or, in some rare instances, purely great, would dominate. Advertising sold product. Endcaps sold product. It was all about deals and positioning.

Now, our primary relationships are with actual people and we build our products for individuals. The way to be powerful is to be human and offer from the heart. Community creates customers. Meaning sells product. Now it is all about openness.

It is all personal.

In my professional life, there was only one dirty word that you could ever utter at a business meeting: feelings. But feelings are what make things personal and suddenly, feelings are important because when our businesses are driven by direct connections, we are overlaying the personal onto the professional. When our companies are run according to values, we are situating the personal within the corporate. When our success is predicated on connecting with people, we have to look at our relationship skills, not just our technical, logistical, or financial proficiencies. This is very exciting.

I believe that as we go forward, we will see that success belongs, not to the cleverest or the most charismatic, but to those who know how to care. To feel. To extend themselves open heartedly and connect genuinely. Thus your ability to communicate is not so much about what you say. It is about who you are.

PS Pictured above are the notes I jotted down for my talk a few hours before I gave it. I clutched this paper as if it was the one lifeline that could save me. When I got home, I smoothed it out to make notes to use should I have the opportunity to give this talk again. This is what it looked like.

Guess I’ll have to start all over again. Again.

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25 Comments

  • Posted by:  Jill Salahub

    As happens so often, you have made me laugh, think, relax, and connect to basic goodness — brilliant.

    • Posted by:  susan

      Could not ask for more, darlin’ Jill!

  • Posted by:  Thad

    Susan, I loved your presentation at Inbound. Wonderful, wonderful job. I’m actually hoping to reach out to you about something that dawned on me while I was watching you, but I’ll do that via email.

    • Posted by:  susan

      So happy you enjoyed it, Thad. Thank you. And I’ll look for your email. Best, S

  • Posted by:  seth godin

    In your ‘professional life’? THIS is is your professional life, and we’re all delighted that you’ve chosen it.

    Thanks for leading and caring and making a ruckus, Susan.

    • Posted by:  susan

      Seth, thanks for being an inspiration to so many!

  • Posted by:  Victoria Kemish

    Your being there was obviously no mistake 😉
    How amazing for you to find yourself so completly surrounded by tribe members in a moment of deep doubt.
    I’m happy for you and for those that got to hear you speak.

    • Posted by:  susan

      Thank you! And it was amazing…

  • Posted by:  Kristoffer Carter

    I’m not just commenting where He Who Godin’s commented. I gotta admire your process, because you work so diligently (selflessly, tirelessly) in staying broke-d in the Receiving Position. Of course the download happens! Of course you can jot “M” and “C” on some ratty graph paper and trust the oratory will appear. Mine has been the reverse lately…sequencing beautiful images like setlists of concepts.

    But I like your way better, as it relies on nothing other than Knowing & Openness.

    Your slideless slides throat-chops slides. Interesting to see how, like the enneagram, you see and experience the dharma in everything. What a powerful frame you’ve cultivated.

    kc

    • Posted by:  susan

      I feel very “seen” by you, Kristoffer. There is no greater gift you can give than this. I hope you can feel how mutual it is. Thank you. Deep bow, Susan

  • Posted by:  Carondelet Dember

    You are the real deal and each time I read your stuff, I connect with my realness. I think you are brilliant by the way, love the line: How to convince people who are on a mission that slowing down is the fastest way to get there?

    • Posted by:  susan

      If every time we connect, you connect with your realness, I am so happy! Mission accomplished! xo S

  • Posted by:  Linda Buchner

    Susan,
    I love that you’re on that roster, with YOUR voice, because it’s equally important and very powerful. Yes, I would love to see them all and I bet they learned a bit about authenticity, grace, and much, much more from beautiful YOU!
    Congrats!
    Linda

    • Posted by:  susan

      Linda, this is so kind! I appreciate these kind words so much.

      Hope your important work is going well. I know you are changing lives. S.

  • Posted by:  Lissa Boles

    Lovely to hear I’m not the only one who goes slideless and ‘downloads’ her talk when & where it needs to be spoken!

    Wish I’d been there. I’ve been reading you, and thankful for you, since Hard Questions. Delighted to hear you weren’t just well received, but among called friends. Really can change the world, and Seth’s right – ain’t that just your profession (sure has seemed like it to me).

    • Posted by:  susan

      Thank you, sister! And I’m glad to know I’m not the only one out there sitting around waiting for a talk to appear… xo S

  • Posted by:  Valerie Reiss

    Hi! Is there video of this talk? Want to see!

    • Posted by:  susan

      They did videotape it and will make the recording available to me at some point. Happy to share it then!

  • Posted by:  Pamela Bailey

    What happens when you feel too much – I am being bombarded with 1 friend who is suicidal, sister suffering from infertility for years – trying to get pregnant at 44 with my daughters’ eggs or someone else’s another friend and her hubby just lost their jobs – she offered her old job to me – now wants me to blow off interview. What do I do?

    • Posted by:  susan

      That sounds impossibly stressful, Pamela. I’m so sorry you are going through so much at once. The first person to extend caring to, always, is yourself. I hope you will be gentle and kind to yourself. Wishing you well! Susan

  • Posted by:  Miriam Hall

    Rock it. Love it. I am another talk downloader, which can be a bit precarious now as I am teaching in foreign countries and they want notes so they can prepare key phrases ahead of time! I hear the anxiety, I feel ya the doubt and I triple feel you the moment of “Oh yes, I am in the right place,” and “Here comes the download after all.” Faith, babe – you got it, you inspire it. Awesome.

    • Posted by:  susan

      I love knowing that I am not the other one. And you have a such a wonderful reputation as a teacher, Miriam so this must really work for you. Many thanks for the affirmation. xo S

  • Posted by:  Cynthia Forstmann

    Susan,

    I too was blown away by Inbound 2013 and loved your summary of the keynotes. I did not hear your talk, but stumbled upon one of your guest blogs on anther website this week. I’ve learned to pay attention to coincidences like these!

    My work is in the Culture/Branding world where our first task is uncovering the inner passions that drive execs and teams, and incorporating these values in every aspect of their brand and business.

    Look forward to following your work.

    • Posted by:  susan

      Cynthia, lovely to meet you and I too was blown away by Inbound 2013. I love the way you describe your work as “uncovering the inner passions that drive execs and teams…” That sounds like one fantastic job. Please stay in touch. Warmly, S

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