Mindfulness-Awareness, Mom and Dad

I am with my parents right now and in being here with them, I am reminded of how much they were my very first dharma teachers. There is a tradition in Tibetan Buddhism of using slogan practice to refine your mind and dissolve negative mental habits by contemplating such statements as “Regard all dharmas as dreams,” “Drive all blames into one,” and “Always maintain only a joyful mind.” Mom and dad had their own slogans and together they could be said to describe the path of mindfulness- awareness.

As you see from your meditation practice, through continual placement of attention on breath, we cultivate the precious quality of mindfulness: of focus, concentration and one-pointedness. In our incredibly speedy world, one who can place his attention where he would like and then hold it there–stay–is a very powerful person indeed.

At the same time, as we practice mindfulness of breath, something else is going on. This something cannot be brought about by an act of will. It has nothing to with how clever you are and cannot be attained through hard work. This other quality is called awareness. It spontaneously arises through the practice of mindfulness. We see this by the changes that begin to occur within. Our minds become clearer. Insights arise. Creativity increases. We find a kind of mental spaciousness.

Dad’s slogan, the habit he believed most important to instill in his children was this: “Finish the job.” His idea was that you could start anything you wanted–whether it was guitar lessons, Law School, a novel, or a mid-day snooze–but once you started it, you should see it through. Do it wholeheartedly. Give it all you have. His point was not to excel or innovate–it was to complete. Don’t abandon yourself. Don’t wander. Set out for your destination and put one foot in front of the other until you get there. Never give up–unless you decide that giving up is called for, in which case, give up completely and clearly. Put a clean edge on whatever you do. There is old-school elegance to his advice. And, PS, he definitely followed his own slogan. For example, he went to Law School at the age of 60 at night while he continued his medical practice during the day. He is the most principled and kind person I know. I love you, Dad. You taught me mindfulness.

Mom’s slogan is “Life is an attitude,” meaning that you can choose how to view each and every circumstance of your life. You can change your world in a flash, simply by the way you choose to see it. And your attitude is so important that it can actually define your life. “Life is an attitude” was my first glimpse into the dharmic notion of letting go and taking a fresh start. Just as in our meditation practice we let go of thought to return to mindfulness of breath, in everyday life, we can let go of our fixed notions of “this is going to be very bad,” or “this is going to be perfect” to instead view what is happening, beyond our notion of what could or should happen. This is the very definition of mental spaciousness, of awareness. This gap between the present and thoughts about the present is where we are able to choose our attitude. We always, always have a choice. And PS, mom definitely followed her own slogan too. My mother has more life force and inner strength than anyone I know. I love you, Mom. You taught me awareness.

Mindfulness and awareness are as inseparable as mom and dad. As masculine and feminine. As form and emptiness. As compassion and wisdom. Thank you Buddha-dad. Thank you Buddha-mom.

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categorized in: meditation, open heart project