What is discipline?
December 7, 2010 | 17 Comments
I think about discipline a lot, because I am not good at it.
Like, what creates discipline?
If it’s an act of will, it doesn’t work.
If it’s an act of seduction (you’ll get goodies!), it doesn’t work.
If you leave it to chance, it certainly doesn’t work.
Here’s what I’ve gathered:
Discipline is built of faith + exertion.
Faith arises from space, based on knowledge, NOT BELIEF.
Exertion comes from confidence.
Confidence, according to my teacher, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, comes from five (very interesting, unexpected, yet totally ordinary) sources:
1. Cleaning up your space.
2. Wearing nice clothes. (Not expensive, necessarily; clean, well-fitting, and so on)
3. Spending time with people who increase your energy.
4. Eating good (quality) food.
5. Spending time in the natural world.
Quite an interesting formula, no?! Try it. Let me know what you think.
categorized in: dharma
17 Comments
The idea that discipline doesn’t come from sheer will is eye-opening for me. After being a very disciplined child and teenager, I have become an adult who has a hard time motivating to do anything I don’t really want to do. I don’t like this about myself and occasionally try to bludgeon myself into doing things and it’s so unpleasant. Another #reverb10’er wrote the other day about finding a way to make all work sacred – even tasks you don’t like, connect them to something truly meaningful, like having the money to buy high-quality ingredients and cook meals for loved ones. I’ve been reflecting on this and your post is more fuel for the fire… thanks for this interesting perspective.
And by the way, #s 1, 3, 4 and 5 above are essentially a prescription for happiness, in my mind… I’d add a few of my own, like CREATE. Interesting how close confidence and happiness can be…
Interesting. Making work sacred by connecting it so something meaningful is a beautiful thought. For me, I know that when I connect my work to mission and to some idea that what I’m doing could be helpful in this world, motivation arises. When motivation is present, discipline is not a problem.
It gets dicey however, when you try to apply yesterday’s motivation to today. If it isn’t fresh, it doesn’t work. So touching in with motivation daily (and not expecting it to be same each time, allowing it to move and shift and some days to be about you alone, for others alone, or based in some mystery you can’t name), is important.
To touch in with something fresh, not-knowing is required: allowing, relaxing, observing, being open to any and everything. Letting go of pre-conceptions, including even the idea of trying to find a way to make work sacred. Which takes a whole lot of confidence. So now we’re back in the middle of this lovely circle.
Which, over and over, I see is completely planted in the practice of meditation, which teaches this kind of openness and its result: courage.
BTW, what is #reverb10?! This is the 2nd time someone has mentioned it to me and I don’t know what it refers to.
It’s showing up to work out even if you have a dozen good reasons not to.
I always thought that confidence came from doing something well. Success that breeds success. Especially if it is something that you didn’t think you could or would do well. Interesting to think it might have something to do with how we dress. All those dress for success books from way back when had a point? Guess I will have to stop working in my pajamas!
eKathy, just wear nice pajamas!!
So often, we associate discipline with things we don’t want to do – work out, eat right, get work done, etc…
I like this way of thinking of discipline better. It’s a way of life. Living in discipline is a way of staying calm & productive no matter the situation. It’s a way of being in the moment but not controlled by it.
Thanks for this!
Yes, exactly, Tara!! A way of life. That is the perfect way to say it.
Reverb10.com is a year-end reflection online event.. glad I checked, hope I can still join in.
The line that strikes me most is, “Faith arises from space, based on knowledge, NOT BELIEF.” As a person who has struggled with discipline, faith, will.. getting out of bed in the morning.. cultivating my faith, on the levels of both spirituality and positive belief in an outcome, has been on my mind lately and this piece does make the whole process more logistical than ‘some have it and some dont’. Having Not been an overly self-motivated or self-disciplined child/teen I appreciate reading about the continual process of creating positive habits in our adulthood.
And yes, its amazing how steps 1-5 create confidence, creates happiness. Thanks for sharing the article Amanda, and for writing it Susan.
So glad you keyed on that line, Amy. To me, it is the mostcontemplation-worthy sentence in the whole thing. When I wrote it, I was like, whoa, what the hell. I need to think about that for 5 of 10 lifetimes.
Keep me posted on your exploration.
Also, it is such a relief to let yourself off of any kind of Law of Attraction hook, or anything that says, “there is something wrong with you and until you think the right thoughts, you’re screwed.” Who knows if that’s true or not, but it is NOT HELPFUL. It is claustrophobic and cuts out some very important elements of life–such as, say, OTHER PEOPLE.
And thanks for the Reverb10 info.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about discipline, too, especially connected to taking care of myself, like through meditation, yoga, good food…
I’ve always hated the word discipline because I understood it as “doing something I don’t want to do”. Recently I’ve taken a different perspective, coming from the origin of the word (“disciple”). What if I choose something bigger than me, as mentioned above? What if I choose to be a “disciple” of love, compassion, my higher vision of life? Then all those “disciplined” things like sitting down for meditation suddenly become perfectly logical and desirable.
Also, I’ve noticed that it helps to thoroughly examine all my implicit fears about discipline, and realizing I don’t believe in them anymore (“It won’t be fun”, “It’ll be stressful”, “I’ll beat myself up if I fail again”…)
As for the 5 ways to raise confidence, Susan, this really stuck out for me in your talk last week. I absolutely love these five points!
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts; I’d love to read more about this topic. Recently I also read through all your GDE-posts, and please know I find it really helpful, inspiring and reassuring to see that I’m not the only one who struggles like this, but that even an advanced practitioner and teacher like you falls into it. It allows me to relax my expectations towards myself… So thanks again 🙂
I actualy read Mr. Rinpoche’s book Turning the Mind into an Ally so this post was very interesting to me. I still have yet to take my seat which can be intimidating. I totally agree with the 5 confidence steps you listed above. I really like your site and glad that I came across it. Thanks.
Thank you so much for this post! Focusing on the fundamentals is so simple and ordinary, I often forget it is the source for groundedness and confidence. These 5 sources are definitely doable! I look forward to putting them into practice with a renewed sense of ” Discipline as devotion.” Thank you!!
I’m fascinated by the question of discipline and whether it matters all that much. Practice matters to me, fundamentally, but I’m still feeling into the place of discipline in my practice. I agree that motivation is not static, it changes. Some days I practice because it makes me more myself, because it brings me home, because it grounds me and softens me, because I am happier and more able to serve when I practice.
Some days I practice because I’m in acute pain and I know that my practice is the only tool I have to stay present through it all. Motivation changes, and when it wanes, is discipline what remains?
And then there is the question, why do I not practice? I’m interested in the idea that a lack of confidence might be part of why I don’t practice sometimes.
And I love the list of things that cultivate confidence. And I certainly find that space is essential in all of this.
Great stuff, thank you so much!
About the five things–that they can be practiced regardless of one’s situation–I like that. Seems like it would cultivate a sense of (more) dignity and peace to bring into any circumstance. Really appreciate it!
I create a sacred space and then I try to let the space inform me.
I move a bit slower right now, it may be that I need to feel my way through space to do the next right thing in life.