The Power of Lineage

March 20, 2012   |   44 Comments

Screen Shot 2012-03-20 at 10.52.00 AM Screen Shot 2012-03-20 at 10.53.29 AM
Pivers, circa 1930s               Marpa

Your life is telling a story. Do you know what it is?

If you reflect, you could see that your life actually has a narrative arc. Themes keep repeating. On any ordinary day, story lines are continually rising, arcing, fading. Some are big and some are small. Although you can’t see it in the moment, looking back, you could see that a particular narrative is unfolding: the story of your life. The older I get, the less I try to direct this story and instead try to get out of its way so it can tell itself. To whom? To me. Why? For its own sake.

At middle age, I am pretty clear on some of my personal themes. Independence versus relationship. The search for a true home, always just out of reach. The longing to be seen, coupled with the longing for invisibility. The quest for insight (as opposed to, say, love or power). The main dial on the Susan Piver machine is set to “know.” That’s just me. It’s not good, it’s not bad—but it is thematic. Where the story is heading, I have no idea.

What story is your life trying to tell you? Contemplating where you came from—your lineages—can tell you something about the nature of your unique personal story.

There are beings or ideas to whom you feel connected, whether through blood, religion, culture, or character. These beings or ideas are your lineage. Perhaps you count yourself as part of the lineage of Eastern European Jews or Chapatti makers of India. Maybe you see yourself as of the lineage of Italian-Americans or devotional Christians or devout atheists. On an inner level, you may identify as part of the lineage of mothers or fathers, lovers, poets, seekers, change agents, survivors of trauma, activists, gardeners, or of those who have no lineage. You belong somewhere. You belong to someone, even if it is to those who also belong nowhere.

At your times of greatest need, your lineage can rescue you—not from sadness or grief, but from loneliness. Someone beside you can feel or has felt what you feel, has an interest in your story, longs for your freedom. I’m not saying this in any woo-woo way, like there are ghosts or angels all around trying to bless you. I’m not saying there aren’t, either. I really don’t know. All I know is that when I have sought guidance and support for my deepest questions and concerns, these beings or ideas are always there for me. When I read certain words, contemplate certain lives, or join with others who share my lineage(s), I learn what I need to learn. I find comfort. I find the support I need to take my inquiries deeper. For me, this is all I want.

In Buddhist thought, when you are part of a lineage it is said that you “hold” that lineage. This is beyond simple admiration and respect, but a recognition that you are part of the same tribe. As tribe members, certain benefits and responsibilities accrue. When you hold a lineage, for example, you could find refuge at your most confused moments. In your words and deeds, you could think that you represent more than yourself. In these ways, you are not alone.

It is all so incredibly intimate. The only one who has any idea of what your true lineages are and how you can best serve them is you.

During my darkest moments, I blunder around in search of the embrace of lineage. Are you here? Are you here? I need you because I cannot see the sense of this life, of this world. Please let me see you or feel you, I say to those I have identified as my lineage holders, to my parents, grandmothers and grandfathers, to Rainer Maria Rilke and Muddy Waters, to Marpa, Manjushri and Sarasvati, Shiwa Okar and Sakyong Mipham. Do you know me? I have no idea, not in the moment. But when I look back on the way my life has unfolded, I see only proof of their presence. Together, we are authoring a story and together, somehow, in some lifetime, we will conclude it by liberating it into pure space.

It has been said that prayer is when we ask things of the divine and meditation is where we gather the answers. We could view our meditation practice as both a very straightforward cultivation of mindfulness and awareness and as a chance to connect with lineage. If this sounds completely NOT interesting or useful, no problem. Ignore me. But if the notion of lineage holds appeal for you, you could try this: Before you begin your practice, take a moment to acknowledge the lineages of your heart. Think of the beings or ideas you most admire or have benefitted from, whether in person or in your thoughts. Name them to yourself. Ask them to bless you, whatever this means to you. Imagine them sitting with you, to your left and to your right. Feel that you practice together. At the end of your practice, thank them.

And know this. We are utterly alone in this world. And companions are all around. As you go about this day, tune in to those moments when you feel accompanied as well as to those moments when you might accompany another, whether by word, deed, or a simple shared glance. Some shared moments are between you and another person, but sometimes they arise between you and yourself (when you suddenly “get” something), or you and the world (when you are touched by its beauty or sorrow). When you look, you see that companionship is everywhere. For this, in part, we can thank our lineages.

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44 Comments

  • Posted by:  richard

    susan ~~ thanx so much for sharing this. obviously i have multi-dimensional lineages in my stream, i connect with their tendrels daily. in this Moment, i feel the greatest connection to my brothers and sisters in the Mishap Lineage. it is wonderful to have the kind hearted, compassionate company of so many Warriors. with deepest respect. r

    • Posted by:  Susan

      I delight in sharing the Mishap Lineage with you! Love, S

      • Posted by:  richard

        as i do with you. now that’s some Crazy Wisdom xo r

  • Posted by:  B

    Hi Susan!

    Thanks for your always true words.

    I’ve been thinking about lineage ever since you mentioned that one should stay with one meditation style. The truth is, I love your dharma talks but more guided meditations somehow feel safe to me, like I have a way to always get back on track after I get distracted in my thoughts. Then again, when it comes time to visualize, I can’t see a thing.

    Part of me feels like I should just stick to one meditation style like you said because I’d like to be part of something greater rather than cobble together a practice from different styles. Another part of me says that this is who I am and what works for me. But it sometimes feels like a delay in making a decision about who I am.

    And your blog post made me realize that this could be one of my life’s themese: a fear of commitment. What to do when one longs for the community of lineage but is afraid to decide?

    I don’t expect any answers, but I thought that other people could benefit from my questions.

    Again, thank you, Susan.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      You are so welcome, B. I appreciate the way you are working through this question when my advice doesn’t quite jive with your intuition. What you are doing is exactly right–taking my suggestion and applying it to your own experience, testing it, seeing what works best for you. In the end, the most important thing about the path is that it be very personal. It has to be based on what YOU know, see, intuit.

      That said, there are oceans of great practitioners who have gone before us and left behind an extremely trustworthy record of what worked and what did not. It behooves us to listen to their counsel, which includes both the idea that one practice is best AND that we each have to puzzle out the path on our own.

      So: go figure!! Keep me/us posted. Warmly, S

      • Posted by:  B

        Hi Susan,

        Thanks for your kind support.

        Actually, your advice always always jives with my intuition. Your words follow me around. It’s the meditation style I have trouble with–falling asleep, getting distracted by physical discomfort, etc. I know that these experiences are part of the meditation practice, but other styles seem so much easier for me (being able to lie down and falling asleep!) due to my particular lived experience of them.

        What I mean is that your dharma talks always ring true for me, but I don’t always feel the same way about the meditation practices. But I continue…

        • Posted by:  Susan

          Hi B. OK, I think I get it. Yes, meditation is not easy. Definitely. A question to ponder is: What is making it troublesome? Is it the practice itself? The time of day? The resistance of the practitioner? An instinct that this is not the practice for you? The wrong posture?

          I wish you the best in your search!! xo S

  • Posted by:  Paulomi

    Thank you, Susan. Your post today brought tears to my eyes. I have been feeling very lonely due to a lot of changes in my life and reading your post reminded me that though I feel extreme loneliness especially at night time, I also feel like someone is holding me through it. Reading your post gave me such comfort (though I did not lable it as lineage) During my next meditation I will do just what you suggested and invite the person who I admire most and look to for support and guidance.
    Thank you again

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Paulomi, it does me such good to read your comment. I am so glad this post was there when you needed it. With love, Susan

    • Posted by:  Kathy Willard

      Hi there Paulomi, such a unique and lovely name! I suspect loneliness can be a huge hurdle for most of us; most certainly I know it deeply and very well. So now I substitute the word “space” in its place, like “I feel such a vast space”, and this points towards the opportunity to also change it into blessed solitude. I’ve needed that badly to not just understand loneliness, but to know who I AM. Of course this took a long time but now loneliness has become a mere illusion as so many things in this world are.
      Love, Kathy

  • Posted by:  Denise

    Thank you for this. I am grateful to be part of my family lineage, as well as the Kagyu Lineage. The Lineage of those who have attained, will travel with us through this ,as well as future lives. I may be alone in my perception , but the Guru is ever present….for this I give humble thanks.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Denise, I am with you in giving thanks.

  • Posted by:  Kathy Willard

    Susan: Yes, many recurring themes in my life. Fiercely independent, and way too opinionated, I’ve had an obsessive passionate intense burning overwhelming, (ha ha) desire to just be myself, to find out what love really means. And the biggest hurdle has been to really and truly STOP judging anyone at all, anything at all. Huge progress made but alas not quite 100%. I often feel I’ve lived a dozen lives in this one to even scratch the surface of all this. Yet, thankfully and more grateful than any words could begin to say, I am finally getting it. Well up that mountain I go, then fall back, up more, fall back, and so it goes. Tons more exciting things to discover, but now with such real love, oh, my my my, such love.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      I relate to everything you say!

  • Posted by:  Jeffrey Willius

    Hi Susan — Thanks for this wonderful reflection on the difference between — and sameness of — independence and lineage. I love the image of sitting and being with your best influences.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      So glad you enjoyed it! Susan

  • Posted by:  chodon

    what you say make sense to me. “It is all so incredibly intimate. The only one who has any idea of what your true lineages are and how you can best serve them is you.”

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Glad this resonates.

  • Posted by:  Lucie

    I find there is a lot of wisdom in your text about lineage: it is about constructive living. Realizing that if we are alive and breathing today, it is because people have taken care of us, some people worked to produce the diapers we wore then, the agri-food people who produce everyday the food with eat, etc. Gratitude for life sustenance, for everything that brought us to “this moment”. As for evolving and my lineage, I am at a loss. An only child, I always felt alone and out of context, and found some happiness brought by my own efforts. I intuitively know there might be angels and beings who helped me along the way. I would so much like to find my tribe, if any. I am still puzzled by people who can bring together a crowd of 12 to celebrate a birthday. I have to trust life, and see it as a big exploration and discovery ground, even without a tribe.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      I know–I admire people who can easily find their pack… xo S

  • Posted by:  Mike

    Susan,
    Well said, this provokes some deep feelings and thoughts about becoming more aware of my lineage and connecting… Thankfully, I have begun the journey of exploration to find myself and my tribe… I have always been a human doing looking for others to define me, now I am becoming a human being…

  • Posted by:  mary anne mcintyre

    Well put, Susan, I enjoyed this post. Made me pause .
    Condolences on your loss, there’s no pretty way to package it.
    Now he is everywhere. And in you. x M

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Such a lovely thought. Thank you, Mary Anne.

  • Posted by:  Kathy

    Susan, let me first express my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your father. As you described him in a recent post, he sounded like a solid, sensible man who was a strong presence in your life.
    Surprisingly, it was my sister, who doesn’t really follow Buddhism, who alerted me to your post and the fact that you were nearby visiting your parents. I discovered you a couple of years back, when I was suffering a lot from heartbreak, and read your book. At the time, I mentioned your book to my sister and now she tunes into your dharma talks too, even though she is not engaged in Buddhism! I have been hoping to catch one of your workshops at some time, so if you do them in the DC area, now that I have returned there, please let your following here know about it.
    Aging and death — those are some of the essential teachings of Buddhism related to impermanence, acceptance, and surrender, right? I imagine the dharma and practice is a rich source of comfort to you now.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Wonderful!

  • Posted by:  Kathy Willard

    Susan: You said: Know this. We are utterly alone in this world. This just leaped off the page for me. Could you please say more about this? I would so love a better understanding.
    Love Kathy

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Well, no one can ever really join you in your inner experience. At the same time, we can share so much with others.

  • Posted by:  Patrick

    Thanks, Susan… that was lovely. I will take it with me to the cushion in a few minutes. Give my regards to your lineage (and mine).

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Ditto!

  • Posted by:  Michaele

    I never thought in terms of lineage until iheard you speak this way, but it has been – recurring theme for my meditation to draw on the wisdom of others who have walked this path before me. That sense that someone else had made it through what I must helps me on my darkest days. It is weird to call that lineage, because I don’t have a family photo – I can only imagine who those people are and thank them for supporting me. But it is lineage in a sense, too, because I sense that I can do this only because they are showing me the way.

  • Posted by:  Maria Spring

    This is a very well thought out article that has given me much to think of further. What you have shared has also validated what I know, that I now that I know always. There are constants in life I draw from God , Spirit, Family and some things that seem to just happen naturally..I suppose as natural as my DNA or linage..Beautiful post! Peace N love

  • Posted by:  Sue

    Thank you for this post. I guess I’m a self taught meditator, and pretty early on, I had a strong sense that certain “beings” — some familiar, others not — were introducing themselves to me when I meditated. I thought I was crazy, but it kept happening, so I started inviting them to join me every time I sat. I asked them to teach me what I needed to learn, and I’ve had a huge education about love. That love is at the core of creation. That love is available in endless amounts to all of us. That we are love… Anyway, it’s nice to know that I’m not a crazy, but simply in touch with my lineage! Fabulous.

    • Posted by:  susan

      So glad this post was useful, Sue.

  • Posted by:  Lawrence

    Hi Susan… am coming here through Miriam Hall. I’m a Shambhalian too.

    I resist this “We’re all alone” statement, because really, if we flash on it, be it, we’re all part of one flow. Am I being pedantic/semantic? Perhaps I don’t like feeling my aloneness too much.

    I like the article.

    • Posted by:  susan

      Thank you and welcome!

  • Posted by:  Susmita

    “At your times of greatest need, your lineage can rescue you—not from sadness or grief, but from loneliness….What story is your life trying to tell you? Contemplating where you came from—your lineages—can tell you something about the nature of your unique personal story.”

    These lines deeply resonated within me as I came to this page looking for a broader understanding of lineage.

    Reading to all the responses it generated I feel in some ways our spiritual inquiry and emotional journey is about reintegrating our lost or invisible connections to various lineages on the earth plane and beyond. I like the words isolation, alienation, longing for fulfilment and vast unknown space alongside ‘loneliness’. Each person’s individual journey is sacred along with the collective journey of a clan, tribe, group of beings in a mutually shared space-time.

    I am in awe of the richness and vastness of it all…bowing to all beings in ten directions ~

    • Posted by:  susan

      Yes, each journey is sacred…

  • Posted by:  michaele.ferguson@gmail.com

    I needed this post tonight. So glad it was out there for me to rediscover. And how eerie to read the words of nine months-ago me, sounding so confident in being surrounded by a lineage. I will think of her and all her wisdom when I sit tomorrow.

    • Posted by:  susan

      Sending love to both of you.

  • Posted by:  Verlene

    Here’s the tricky part: You don’t know what player tendencies are when you’re sitting down to play.

    The team colours are red and white, and the cannon is their symbol even still today.
    The Premier League will continue to dominate world football for
    years to come. It is therefore important to know about this set play when learning how to play soccer.

  • Posted by:  cever

    The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit

  • Posted by:  vertedes

    Some people look for a beautiful place. Others make a place beautiful.

  • Posted by:  nertest

    Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met

    • Posted by:  Susan Piver

      love that

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