From Your Excellent Meditation Questions: Meditation without agenda? Why??

June 28, 2011   |   5 Comments

Flower Question Mark

I often try to explain that one of the biggest misconceptions about meditation practice is that it is a form of self-improvement. It is not. In fact, it is a way of stepping off the (often vicious) self-improvement treadmill most of us run on 24/7 to instead accept ourselves exactly as we are. It is a time to give up all agendas and just be.

Hang out with yourself, exactly as you are. Make friends with yourself. Doing so with an agenda is the same as befriending another with an agenda. They can tell that something is fishy. Plus, we lose the magic and possibility of the interaction and it simply becomes a task. No one falls in love with a task, and, in a sense, meditation is a way of falling in love with yourself, warts and all, wisdom and all. After all, you are extremely love-worthy. Treating yourself as a work project tends to obscure all that.

So, quite naturally, such a view provokes a question like this one, from a reader

Q: If we are to approach meditation w/o an agenda, then how do we approach it? Curiosity? A vague “this is worth doing”? I think my expectations are realistic (I want to be in a clear space with just myself), but there is hope for some benefit in there as well… Any suggestions or thoughts on that?

A: There is no need to settle on an approach to your practice such as curiosity or a vague “this is worth doing.” Of course, since we are human, we will always hope for some benefit. As well we should! But in meditation practice, this is called “thinking.”

If, during meditation, the thought arises, “I will approach my meditation practice with curiosity,” you could let this go and return to the breath. If you discover a vague hope that it’s all worthwhile, ditto. Let this thought go and come back. When you notice that you “want to be in a clear space with just myself,” let that go, too.

When these thoughts come up pre- or post-meditation, just let them be. Don’t try to answer them through your intellect. Your life itself will be your answer. As your practice deepens, and the days, weeks, and months go by, answers to the question, “is this worth doing?” will unfold beyond your most rigorous expectations.

Yes, meditation practice brings all sorts of proven benefits to your mental and physical health. These are fantastic. If you meditate to become more patient or lower your blood pressure, that is awesome. But meditation is so much more than this. It is a path to enlightenment, one that can only be glimpsed when we put down our ideas and establish ourselves in the unknown.

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5 Comments

  • Posted by:  Leanna

    I like this post. I also find that people (who don’t meditate) think that meditation is relaxing. When I mention that I went on a week long meditation and writing retreat they say “Oh, that must have been so relaxing!” It was honestly one of the least “relaxing” vacations I’ve ever taken. Paying attention is hard work!

    • Posted by:  Susan

      It is, indeed!

  • Posted by:  Karen

    The thing I am beginning to notice the most about meditating is that my feelings, though no less intense (I really wouldn’t want it any other way), are much more transient. They just seem to come and go. Sometimes it happens quite naturally, and sometimes I really have to remind myself to drop the story. But the thing is, intense feelings, whether it be elation or anger just don’t seem to be controlling me as much as before I had a meditation practice. And so even though sometimes I’m tired or crazy and really suck at it, sitting is the best part of my day…the most valuable part of my day. I’m just feeling so grateful for it and wanted to share that.

    • Posted by:  Susan

      Brilliant, Karen! What you describe is exactly the way to find balance–not to fight some feelings and cling to others, but to continually expand to include what IS happening.

      I am grateful to YOU for walking the path. It takes courage.

  • Posted by:  Paul Harrison - Master Nomi

    I have always used mindfulness to become part of
    the moment of doing something and fully engaging.
    For instance, when drinking tea or coffee, fully
    become aware of all aspects of the preparation,
    pouring, and drinking without thinking of
    something else. Just be present, its a great
    exercise and then return to the breath when
    needed.

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