Barack & Me

The first President I remember is Nixon and that was not such a good experience. As a kid, I didn’t really understand what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good, I knew the rest of the world was somehow laughing at us and, worse, even us kids knew that we had fallen from grace in our own eyes. Whether Watergate ignited a wave of thieving, scamming, outright two-faced politicians whose mask one could not see behind, or simply exposed what had always been there, I do not know. All I know is there hasn’t been a moment since when I did not feel that whomever was running for office was not lying to me. Still, as soon as I came of age I voted, trying to guess who was lying less or whose lies were telegraphing in pol-speak the reality I found least heinous. That, combined with weighing other political realities that might checkmate the candidate into the positions I supported—such as who was likely to control Congress or what political scam most recently backfired and therefore wouldn’t be tried again—was the formula I used to choose my candidate. Party affiliation never meant anything to me, I’ve been a registered Independent my whole life because I never trusted anyone enough to throw my lot in with them. I never in my life imagined that I would see a candidate for President that I would vote for because I believed what he said and, further, for what seems like moral fiber beyond professions of faith, wisdom beyond clever sound bites, and, most of all, for his palpable, tear-inducing love of the American people. It just never crossed my mind.

So now I’m in a state of crazy agitation waiting for election day, unable to sleep and unable to pull myself away from HuffPo, Fox News, MSNBC, Politico, CNN, and election.twitter.com. Like a man in the desert who thinks he sees water on the horizon, I can hardly believe my eyes yet I grow thirstier with each step. I’ve found the President I’ve been waiting for all my life. My heart is completely on the line, the whole damn thing, there is nothing held back and that is a very scary position to be in. I am so exposed that is simply impossible to shield against disappointment. The only protection is to shed all pretense of distance and run towards renewed of love country and faith in our people, something I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t figure out how. If my heart breaks on election day, so be it. Just like any heartbroken person, I’ll simply have to find something else to do with all this love.

Barack Hussein Obama for President.

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